I’ve been struggling with the Comments boards here on JWN for some time now. Yesterday, I felt I learned something new about what’s been going on.
As someone who works hard to put my own thoughts into words on the main post, I have tended to feel a rather strong sense of attachment to the result and so to act excessively defensively when people jump in with comments that criticize it. And thus, by firing off my own defensively-motivated ripostes, I have actually been contributing to the “problem” I’ve been sensing, and struggling to define, on the Comments boards for some time now: namely, that some of the discussion there has developed a snarky, combative tone…
Which is not how I want the discussions on the Comments boards here to be, at all.
Acting defensively is never a good place to act from. Over the years I’ve come to see the great value of the Buddhist practice of “non-attachment to the fruits of one’s labors.” Basically what this teaches is that you do the very best you can on any particular particular project; and once it’s done you let go of it.
(This teaching is particularly useful in parenting, I can tell you.)
So I started to think that the best way for me, and us all, not to get trapped in the problem of comment-board snarkiness is for me to do two things:
- (1) Actively cultivate an attitude of “non-attachment” to the texts of my posts on the blog. It’s an incredible blessing and privilege for me that I can have them out there! I must let them stand on their own. (Just like my kids.)
(2) Invest a bit of time in producing a “Mission statement” for the Comments boards here that will define “rules of the game” with which I and all other commenters here are all expected equally to comply.
I thank commenters Dutchmarbel and Dave for replying to the request I voiced earlier for links to similar sets of guidelines produced by other bloggers. It really is awesome to be able to network the energy and creativity of others in cyberspace so that each of us here doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel each time!
As it turned out, it was the guidelines that Dave pointed me to that spoke most strongly to me as providing a good starting point for what I wanted to do. Dave’s suggestion sent me to a blog called– I kid you not– “Real Live Preacher”; and I ended up really enjoying not just the post where the RLP laid out his hopes for his Comments boards and then set some gentle ground-rules for them, but also kicking around other areas of his blog as well.
It also got me to thinking that clearly, what I need to do on this blog is try to be a “Real Live Quaker”. Well, I’m not entirely sure what-all that might entail. But I can tell you one thing it would rule out, and that would be me making snarky, combative comments on my own Comments boards here.
So firstly, I’d like to apologize to everyone to whom I made snarky or combative comments yesterday, or on previous posts. I take responsibility for, and am very sorry about, any hurt that I caused.
Secondly, I’d like to announce my intention that today we all of us start a new day on JWN. From here on forward, I get to post my posts (or perhaps, as I’ve done here before, texts from specially invited “guest posters”); and then afterwards we all try to abide by a single set of ground-rules that, I hope, will lead to a more courteous, friendly, and productive atmosphere there on the Comments boards.
And thirdly, I want to be quite clear that I strongly do not want the promulgation of these ground-rules to discourage anyone at all from posting their comments, including comments that express views very different from or critical of my own. On the contrary, I hope that general observance of these rules will lead to discussions on the boards that are less prickly and inhospitable, more generative of fresh and productive insights, and thus altogether more welcoming to potential participants than what we have sometimes seen previously.
I invite you all to join me in ushering in this new day here on JWN.
I invite you all– and especially anyone who’s planning to post a comment on any of the Comments boards here– to take a couple of minutes to read the new guidelines. And then, when you’ve done so, to join me in trying in trying to honor them.
I’ve thought pretty hard about these points over the past week or so. But I’m sure that many of you readers also have thoughts on this issue that could make what I’m trying to do here more effective.
If you do, or if you have thoughts on “discourse guidelines” in general, please post those comments here!